Self-worth at Work with Aiko Bethea

angela_r_howard (00:01.898)

Aika, welcome to the podcast. It's so great to have you on. Thanks for joining.

aiko_bethea (00:07.321)

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

angela_r_howard (00:10.334)

Yeah, yeah, and we just we spent about 15 minutes just getting to know each other, which was wonderful. I feel like the work that you're doing, the conversations on this podcast is such a beautiful fit. So I would love for you to just give a brief intro. I go tell us what you do and what is the impact you're looking to make on the world?

aiko_bethea (00:34.461)

So I am a recovering attorney and I have a leadership development firm called Rare Coaching and Consulting. I'm also a mom of two and a lot of other identities too, but the work that I focus on, or even the impact I want to have, is to support not only workplaces, to be places where people can thrive and constantly grow and become better people, but also thinking about employees and supporting them and finding the best path for them.

angela_r_howard (01:03.018)

I love that, I love that. And I know a lot of your work is centered around, we talked about liberation a little bit earlier, and freedom, and what the workplace looks like for everybody, from a diversity, equity, inclusion standpoint. And so I know a lot of your work is also around justice. So tell me how that connects, right? Because if you're a recovering attorney, you're doing this work now, how does that work intersect for you?

aiko_bethea (01:32.429)

So I would say one, how do I define liberation? So that might be helpful is I think about it when people have choice. They have true choice in terms of where they are, how they live, how they show up. And I think many workplaces don't necessarily allow that for folks. Instead, they become constraints. And because that's where we spend a lot of our days, it can impact the quality of our lives.

So when you're in a workplace, you would hope that it's a place where you don't have to code switch, cover, assimilate, but you can truly be who you are. But we know that that's often not the case. And a lot of the work I do is to support leaders or employees to consider, hey, how does this workplace align with my values? When I'm here, how do I make sure that it serves me and my purpose and how I want to live my life? If I'm not in this privileged position where I can just leave or go somewhere else that

perfectly aligns with me, then how do I stay here and still self-sustain, still have boundaries, still ensure that this is an intentional choice that's serving me? Because at the end of the day, it really is about people trying to live their best lives. Like the idea of we're not living to work, but we're working to live oftentimes, but work can also be a source of joy. And that is a lot of the work we do. When you think about me being a recovering attorney,

angela_r_howard (02:46.187)

Mm.

angela_r_howard (02:51.288)

us.

aiko_bethea (02:56.877)

That lifestyle often does not afford for people to be as free as they would want to. If you're at a big firm, there are the billable hours, there's the clients that you have to work well with in a piece that may not be the clients who you choose. There are partners and all these other people and systems and structures and higher arcs that you have to defer to. And so for me, it felt like, is this why I am existing in order to do this?

you know, is this the life I want to live? Is this where I'm going to have the greatest impact? Is this where I'm going to be the best person or version of who I want to be? And the answer was no. So at each time in my career, there are different pivots that I made in order to be closer to my purpose.

angela_r_howard (03:43.434)

Yeah, and I would love to kind of just dig into this concept of the workplace as a traditional paradigm. You know, there's like norms and rules we've created around it of, you know, what it should be, what it shouldn't be. And I'm sure with some of your, I don't know if it was like employment law, your background as far as the attorney work that you did, or did you have a certain specialty?

aiko_bethea (04:10.381)

General litigation.

angela_r_howard (04:12.002)

Gotcha, gotcha. So I just, from my background as an organizational psychologist, more of the, I guess, the psychology part of the workplace and how it's evolved over time, what the norms are. What are some traditional elements of the workplace that you think have created perhaps a sense of control versus liberation over time?

aiko_bethea (04:34.937)

Gosh, Angela, I feel like I should be asking you that question with your background, for one. But we'd love to hear your response to that too. I think the workplace overall, what it's evolved into, it's really more so about profit, right? And even if it's a nonprofit or other place that you work in that wants to focus on impact, they still need money to run. And you find lots of nonprofits having to almost sell their soul in order to get grants.

angela_r_howard (04:38.664)

Yeah.

angela_r_howard (04:42.154)

Mm-hmm.

aiko_bethea (05:02.329)

and to veer away from their mission or to have to manage or even to the point of control their employees or even the communities they're supposed to serve in order to justify their existence for grants. So I think there's, I mean, even if we go down to the idea of billable hours, how much are you producing for this hourly wage? And I think we're starting to see a lot of that come to bear with the mass layoffs. Well, we're not making this profit.

So we now need to cut these employees because clearly the business is not there to serve the employees, right? It's there to make money. And so I think all that whole paradigm itself is apparent in the workplace, corporate America, but also if you think about some of the things I just mentioned about nonprofits for them to exist, they get sucked into that as well, whether or not they're trying to be mission driven or not.

angela_r_howard (05:58.118)

Yeah, yeah, and I think you're, you know, you're hitting on a lot of different things that we could certainly unpack. But I think when I think about our current workplace, I think it stems from a lot of like the Industrial Revolution, right? Like that period of time. And if you think about what was going on during that period of time, less human centered design, more, you know, machine, I guess, machinery and

assembly line, things like that. And that has shaped the corners of how we think about work, employer-employee relationship, even societal differences, right? Who was allowed to work, who had power, which we are still dealing with now. So those dynamics, I think, have a part of the equation too.

aiko_bethea (06:40.729)

Yes.

aiko_bethea (06:49.185)

Yes, I love that you just went back in history about just the context overall, right? Because whether, you know, we can go back even further and talk about enslaved Americans and think about the ledger system and how many pounds of cotton per body is being picked, like the complete dehumanization, because we're not even paying for this labor. And in fact, we're taking all the humanity out of people so that they can produce more. We're creating laws to treat them

angela_r_howard (06:57.585)

Mm-hmm.

angela_r_howard (07:02.163)

Yes.

aiko_bethea (07:18.649)

property, and we're even minimalizing the idea of a human family structure by dividing families in the way that you're using people even to their capacity to reproduce. So we can go all the way back there in the cornerstone of what drove the economy in the US then, and it was there was no humanity centered in that, right? So I love that you're going back to just the full context of

what it means to labor here and for whom.

angela_r_howard (07:51.75)

Yes, and I think it gets to the disparities we see certainly with power, right? And who the system was created for. And I mean, the system of the workplace, I think, is, to your point, not centered in humanity. But I think there's again, this other layer of who it was originally created for and who it wasn't. And I think for underrepresented folks who are

working in the system today, we're experiencing a lot of cognitive dissonance, right? Because this is actually how I define productivity or purpose or doing the work versus how the system behaves. So I would love to hear more from you on that because I know you're, and I want to hear more about your book because I know it's a fictional book, but it is grounded in truth.

So tell us a little bit more about your book around liberation and how that connects to the disparities and the workplace experience.

aiko_bethea (08:56.441)

Sure. So the book is a mystery series and it's funny because it's not what you would consider in terms of when you think about liberation. So it is a cozy mystery series and this genre is actually dominated by white women as the authors, as the main characters and also as the readers. And one thing that I do know, I'm an avid reader period, but and it's empirically backed is that literature...

angela_r_howard (09:01.351)

Oh!

aiko_bethea (09:25.497)

fiction literature is actually a great through way to develop empathy and to close gaps between folks because when we're reading a book, we're actually putting ourselves in the place of the characters, right? So breaking into that genre helps to offer or invite folks to think about the world from a different perspective. So these two characters are two black women. And before we got on the recording, we're both talking about being entrepreneurs and what that affords us.

angela_r_howard (09:31.333)

Mm.

aiko_bethea (09:55.225)

The women are folks who were supposed to be in this corporate America track because that's the dream, right? That's how you're supposed to make it in America. And one was an attorney and leaves to open her own series of shops like water shops. And her best friend, Amina, was supposed to be a doctor and left in order to, because she was really into chemistry, to make her own products. But of course, there's the same theme about

angela_r_howard (10:00.503)

Mmm.

aiko_bethea (10:23.169)

the mystery that has to be solved at the end of the day, but the way these women live, it's this idea of defining success on your own terms. It's the idea of creating a life of joy that you want. And the idea of where you started us from, Angela, is the paradigm of how companies were created and for what purpose. And to be able to say, this is what is what I was told is supposed to be.

angela_r_howard (10:31.67)

Hmm.

aiko_bethea (10:49.645)

but this is where I'm going to go. And for many of us, I don't know if you experienced this, I didn't get a chance to ask you, but when you went and opened your own company or decided to be an entrepreneur and left a steady job probably, what were some of the responses you got?

angela_r_howard (10:55.274)

Mm.

angela_r_howard (11:03.064)

Mm-hmm.

angela_r_howard (11:07.154)

Oh, yeah, that's a great question. A lot of the, you're leaving, I left an executive job, right? Making good money, bonus, all the jazz, all the things that you have worked for. So I think a lot of people in my community were like, why are you leaving a good paying job? This is a huge risk. You're going to take a pay cut. This also happened to me when I left corporate America to work for a smaller business.

aiko_bethea (11:36.795)

Mm-hmm. Yes.

angela_r_howard (11:37.514)

which was interesting. So it's like, oh, so you're not gonna have the brand of XYZ behind you anymore, what does that mean for you? So I got a lot of that and then just, you know, interestingly enough, you know, questions about like dual income in my household. Like, so, you know, does this mean you're gonna stay at home and like the conversations around family and things like that. So it was...

aiko_bethea (12:05.015)

Nest.

angela_r_howard (12:06.258)

What about you? Have you experienced similar comments?

aiko_bethea (12:09.589)

Oh, absolutely. Leaving firms, six figures, bonus or whatever, and then going, I think the first decision I made that wasn't financially driven was leaving a big firm and going and working at the city of Atlanta, which was like a 70% pay cut, right? I love the themes that you just brought up too. So there's one theme about leaving that good job, like the security and what have you. And we all know that working at a company is not security. We know that just from all the layoffs that are happening now, right?

angela_r_howard (12:15.024)

Mm-hmm.

angela_r_howard (12:23.958)

Mm.

aiko_bethea (12:39.757)

The other thing that you mentioned to you was about, okay, well, the idea of, well, who are you now? Our identity being connected with that great, don't let it be a really great company, right? Or considered a good place to work. You're gonna leave Google, well, what now? And then the last thing you mentioned, which was even that intersection around the role of gender. So since you're not working anymore, you're other, working for somebody anymore, your other purpose is you must be,

angela_r_howard (12:46.147)

Mmm.

aiko_bethea (13:08.865)

going to be a homemaker and ready to be a mom. So all these ideas, it's kind of like this, which way book, but every way that you go is still not full liberation. And your identity caught up and oftentimes parents or parents from other generations, you know, our parents are from other generations and they might say, oh my God, you're gonna do that good job. Those benefits, all of these things kind of keeping us into this framing. And I just, there's an ode to people who are willing to do it differently.

angela_r_howard (13:11.892)

Mm-hmm.

angela_r_howard (13:19.567)

Mm-hmm.

aiko_bethea (13:38.953)

And I just believe that people of color, especially if you think about the history of black people in America, we're the really used to living in a dystopia. When you think about us and what may have happened to our ancestors first being here, being, well, even being taken and brought here. And then if we even think about it from today, hey, I still have to go to work despite what I just saw playing out on television for people who look just like me or my brother or my husband or whomever.

angela_r_howard (13:47.542)

Hmm.

angela_r_howard (14:02.615)

Mm.

aiko_bethea (14:07.193)

But I had to go back to work and pretend that this didn't happen. Like we're used to being in dystopia. Oh, folks who make millions a year, but if they're pulled over by the police, it doesn't matter. Like we're not afforded certain givens as one humans, but also as citizens or civilians. So we're used to dystopia. So when you think about going into being entrepreneurs, there should be nothing more.

likely that we could conquer, right? And so I think about that a lot in terms of our willingness or being able to give ourselves permission to do something different than the paradigms that have been set forth before us.

angela_r_howard (14:38.999)

Yes.

angela_r_howard (14:52.562)

Yeah, I think some of this is evident in some of the research that I'm seeing around. Well, we know that the gig economy, entrepreneurship is rising for women and people of color. And I think it is because of this point that you're making, which is we never really felt like we belonged in the first place. So, you know, there's research that I and I can't remember. I always forget the source. I'm going to find it and post it in the show notes here.

But there was research that basically asked about people coming back to work, right? Like organizations that are forcing people to come back into the office, which is whole nother conversation. But they found that most people who wanted to come back were white males. And women and people of color were like, I have never felt like I belonged so much than I did now, sitting in my house. So I didn't have to deal with the microaggressions. I didn't have to deal with people touching my hair. I didn't have to deal with.

you know, all of the microaggressions and the aggressions against me, all the lack of opportunity. So I think people are already starting to pave their own way. And I think your book is. A masterpiece of storytelling that is going to make this relatable and possible for people, which is really exciting.

aiko_bethea (16:10.385)

I really hope so. I mean, a big premise of the book is just about how we are not a monolith. People aren't a monolith and we all have these different stories that are valid. We have these different parts of our identity that should always be validated and valid. And I hope that when people read it, they see validation in who they are, who or who they aspire to be. And I hope also that anybody who can't identify with

the characters in terms of racial demographic identity, because I think you can probably relate to them in a lot of other ways, but they still are able to break through and see the one of the humanity and the choices we all have to make, and understand that we can create these worlds on our own. I will say that a big part of this book is about world building. And oftentimes when you see stories that are centered on people of color or black people, and it is either steeped in trauma,

or it is about Afrofuturism, where, you know, we're in Wakanda. And this is about, no, we need world building for now, from our perspective, to show that, wow, there's so many of us who are creating lives that we want to live, that aren't steeped in trauma, are despite the trauma, and we're making decisions that weren't necessarily given to us as a pathway, but we're creating them. Because we've always created new.

angela_r_howard (17:11.042)

Hmm. Yeah, yes.

aiko_bethea (17:35.181)

I mean, how many of us say we're first gen? At this time in 2020s, we're still saying we're first gen to graduate from college. And we all know somebody in our family or what have you that is one step away, if it's not ourselves, period. So this idea of we've gotta be able to build these bridges and images of what does healthy, empowered, liberated living look like.

angela_r_howard (17:35.448)

Hmm.

angela_r_howard (17:43.287)

Hmm.

aiko_bethea (18:01.261)

We've got to create that and we have to make it real for other people who may be the ones who are in the hiring seats to see that, Hey, when I hire Angela, I don't have to be in this pet to threat mode. I'm hiring her because I know she can do the job. And I'm not thinking about all of the reasons first about why she can't and why she doesn't belong here. Instead, it's a given that not only do you belong here, but you should be leading teams and you're brilliant. And that's what we have to start building those narratives and creating those worlds and stories.

angela_r_howard (18:07.095)

Hmm.

angela_r_howard (18:13.015)

Mm.

angela_r_howard (18:20.747)

Right.

aiko_bethea (18:31.661)

for ourselves and for others.

angela_r_howard (18:35.718)

Yeah, gosh, I have so many questions, but I'm gonna start with this one, which is how do how do organizations, you know, because your book, your mystery series, but grounded in some truth around, I think some of the trends that we're seeing around the workplace and what work means to people. How do employers create or, I guess, change the paradigms in order to

I don't know, widen the possibilities for these stories. Meaning today, you hire someone, you expect them, there's a paradigm of I expect this person to be here for 10 years, working nine to five. I own them. I'm putting quotations, marks, but that's what it feels like, right? The control over. Versus, I think what we're seeing with, and I hate this term, quiet quitting. I don't think it's a thing, but what quiet quitting is,

is people finally taking control of their boundaries and understanding that to your point, we live to live, not live to work. So quiet quitting, I don't think is a thing. I actually think it's just people waking up to this realization. And so how do employers, I know this is a really, it's a loaded question, but what are some things employers can do to-

to start to change this paradigm, get on board with the fact that this is changing. And your book is not fictional, it's actually something that's a reality that people are thinking about.

aiko_bethea (20:10.841)

Yeah, gosh, so many things towards that, Angela. One is really paying people for their labor. And I'm not talking about necessarily compensation, just saying, hey, raise how much you're paying people, but consider what labor is. So this morning I was with a client and it was about their employee resource groups. So this idea of making sure people don't consider that to be labor or labor that is worth being paid for.

and you're actually creating culture, you're creating community, you're doing it on top of your other job because you're not being paid for it. But this idea of if you're all of this work that many people put away as housework, or just extracurriculars that actually result in retention in this quality of work that we're talking about, your quality of life at work, is not paid for.

So I will often not work with any clients when they bring in and I'm asking, oh, are the people who are leading this work or doing this work or they being compensated for? No, we're not there yet. So wait a minute, they're doing this on top of their jobs. So you're perpetuating inequity with these employee resource groups by not having them do this on top of their jobs. And oftentimes you get a punitive response from your manager or employer. You didn't get this done because you're over here doing this extracurricular stuff.

angela_r_howard (21:19.438)

All right.

aiko_bethea (21:32.237)

So the value's not there. This other idea of how else does labor come up. So one of the things that you mentioned is, we are able to, many of us people of color are able to work more effectively from home because we are not dealing with microaggressions. So now I have a, when I'm at work, I have to navigate the aggressions that you're putting on me. And even the other types of workplace violence that comes up in a emotional or mental way. So either I need to be

compensator or you need to recognize what this means or there needs to be clear punishment when I'm being impacted and other employees are being impacted in this way. So it's not that you're going to be able to create the dollar value, that type of violence, but at least I know that it's unacceptable. I shouldn't have to deal with it and there's going to be a punitive response when someone is enacting aggressions on me.

angela_r_howard (22:27.167)

Mm.

aiko_bethea (22:27.381)

But right now we often don't see that, oh, it's the excuses, right? Of, oh, that's not really what they meant. Well, our issue is more about what is the impact they had on the culture and employees because you're actually decreasing even what the employee could even do or in terms of produce if you're about productivity. So it is this idea of recognizing the labor that people are putting in, in each point and valuing it.

value it either through right now the value is usually what equated into money and dollar compensation in that way but even in other ways too but I think that we often don't see that happening and in fact we see people who bring in more money no matter how any means necessary are the ones who climb the ladder and oh my gosh they did what well we can't get rid of them because they're bringing in more clients and they're actually making more sales.

to the detriment of other people. So now you're telling me what you really value. Yeah.

angela_r_howard (23:26.398)

Right. Yes. And it all goes back full circle to that idea of, you know, businesses are built to, um, to make money. And I don't, I don't doubt that fact. I know we need to make money to employ people, but I think, you know, the conversation that I'm really interested in having, which we're having right now is around the sustainability of that. Right. Um, and one of the things to your point, the, the asshole that leaves dead bodies behind or the

the racist who is constantly imposing microaggressions on people within the workplace, that person's top salesperson, makes all the money for the company. But I think about culture as a garden, right? Like you always have to tend to it and there are weeds and weeds tend to seed and it spreads. It's not just, and then sometimes you move people throughout the organization, right? Oh, well.

you know, this person's team didn't like this leader, let me move them over here. And you are just spreading that toxicity. And there is a real tangible monetary impact, cost impact for that organization. And so that's been the hardest for me, at least with my work is painting that picture. So yeah, I'm just, that resonates with me so much what you just said.

aiko_bethea (24:36.153)

cost.

aiko_bethea (24:52.921)

And so when you're doing this work, Angela, what are you finding as the reasons why someone's more willing to shift the problem versus either pull out that weed or what have you? What are you finding?

angela_r_howard (24:55.828)

Mm-hmm.

angela_r_howard (25:08.506)

It's the short term versus long term, right? Like the leader can't fathom not having this person for X amount of months while we find somebody else. But that, to your point, the value is placed on what that person is bringing versus the undercurrent of harm that is happening. And oh, by the way, the harm that's happening usually isn't mentioned because maybe you've killed all psychological safety within that.

environment now. So you really don't even know the amount of harm that's being put on people and the amount of people. And that over time is just that's building to people leaving, right? That's building to real trauma and harm. That's leading to mental illness. That's leading to things that are going to show up later on. So the leading versus lagging indicators is always the issue that I come across.

aiko_bethea (26:05.965)

Yeah, that part that you said about that short term versus long term too. The other part that happens in these workplaces often is that there's not one that values the output, right? In terms of what's going to bring us more money is that there is usually this sense of time scarcity and action bias and reactivity. And what we're thinking about or what we're putting on the table takes space to understand the full value to actually even pause to see people.

angela_r_howard (26:23.7)

Yes.

aiko_bethea (26:35.881)

and appreciate what they're bringing in, not as a bottom line output widget that's gonna bring more money or another client, versus seeing this person holistically. And the raise for the dollar, the output, the money, what have you, usually I see the action bias, time scarcity, not being able to see people, but only see the thing, not be able to plan far ahead and be strategic versus thinking about how do we

Band-aid something or react to it and when you think about what makes us great as humans We were supposed to have this space to be able to reason we're supposed to have this space to be able to have this depth of emotional connection and If we are in that type of ecosystem Part of it is just to extract So when you talked about a garden, it's like a garden That's not being nurtured with all the things that we were meant to be here to do

angela_r_howard (27:14.117)

Mm.

aiko_bethea (27:32.365)

But to me, the biggest travesty is when we as individuals buy that as that's my purpose and the story of my life. And therefore I'm worth less because I didn't produce as much. And I just did this post the other day, which is making me think about Angela is the amount of workplace suicide. And in the US knowing that since the year 2000 it's gone up by 39%. And so everything that you're talking about in terms of

angela_r_howard (27:40.237)

Mm.

angela_r_howard (27:57.098)

Wow. Ugh.

aiko_bethea (28:01.525)

work and workplace psychology and your premise of the workplace being a place where people can thrive. Yes, because what's on the other side, it's not that it's just not sustainable because of the cost of retention, but you're right about how we were wired to be here and what happens at the end of it. And it's just, it's heartbreaking to see that someone has, you know, taken their life or had an apparent suicide because, oh my gosh, if I don't get this assignment done.

I'm not producing enough. What will people think? What's my value? I'm a failure. And I don't know Angela about how the workplace, we actually transfer in the workplace, but I know that you and I both as coaches, we recognize that we can also support the individual to be able to see another way and to be able to value themselves deeper than what the workplace might say, right?

angela_r_howard (28:44.974)

Mm-hmm.

angela_r_howard (28:57.63)

Yeah, and that kind of gets me to my personal story with moving to entrepreneurship. It I am still I consider myself in a healing process currently right now, as we're talking, because I feel like I am recovering. To your point, a recovering attorney, you're probably having a similar journey, which is how do I unlearn all of these all these paradigms and assumptions that corporate America taught me?

right, that in order for me to be worthy, I need to be productive. That, you know, you don't take your time off that, you know, in order to, I don't know, lead, you have to have X, Y, Z characteristics. That building community is not leadership. It's it's the maintenance stuff, you know, to your point. So I.

I so connect with this idea of liberation and freedom and how we can build our own world. And kind of going back to your point about the individual. So give me some perspective, because I know you do work around courage. I know you're on Brene Brown's team. And I absolutely love her work and her research around this. So knowing that, I want to also acknowledge that the system needs to be fixed, right?

And there are things as an individual we can do to create our own, build our own table, create our own world. So what is some advice, some words of affirmation, some validation for folks who are listening to start that journey, to start thinking about it that way?

aiko_bethea (30:38.805)

Yeah, I think that one, what's has been really this through line with our conversation overall is you are not your work. Right. That doesn't define who we are, regardless of how all of the messages that you're talking about that we get in every way. It's not how are you today or let me tell me the last book you read. It's more about where do you work and what do you do and us even not only moving away from thinking about ourselves this way.

angela_r_howard (30:46.314)

Mm.

aiko_bethea (31:08.137)

training ourselves to even see other people differently and see someone's value about, well, what do you like doing? What do you enjoy? What's a big win? And not thinking about it in terms of asking people their value based on their jobs. Like, let's start thinking about people differently and engaging with them differently. And the other part is that often we have to, this is a sad part of the work, I'm sure you've probably seen it before, is that sometimes we have to retrain people about who we are.

angela_r_howard (31:22.606)

Hmm.

angela_r_howard (31:36.351)

Yes.

aiko_bethea (31:36.949)

And I love what you said about quiet quitting in terms of setting boundaries that we may not have felt like we had a right to set before. But oftentimes, our families of origin or our communities are where we get a lot of the messages about to be successful. You have to be blah, blah. Have this title. It's this work that we have to do about shifting from their agenda, whoever they are, to our own agenda.

angela_r_howard (32:03.577)

Mm.

aiko_bethea (32:03.845)

and understand and that takes work in and of itself. I love what you talk about with unlearning because everywhere you will look, part of our value feeds into the incentive is about toxic productivity. It's about perfectionism. It's about all these things which actually does not serve us as humans, but it serves a business, the work, who benefits when we're...

in the mode of toxic productivity in, like you said, I don't take my PTO off. Does your, does our family benefit? It's a company gets a benefit from that, right?

angela_r_howard (32:38.73)

No.

Yeah, and I'll just I'll share a quick example. So yesterday I was I woke up, I was I was sick, didn't feel well. And I basically I told my executives, I'm like, clear my calendar. And that like that was a moment of liberation for me. I would have never done that. And that small bit of unlearning that when I think we have to take it micro action by micro action to really make this change.

aiko_bethea (32:57.613)

Yeah.

angela_r_howard (33:09.354)

and to wake up to it, right? Cause we're kind of an autopilot. We're working in a system that is taught us to behave in a certain way. So I just wanted to share that cause when you talked about PTO, it reminded me of my little moment yesterday that I was so proud of.

aiko_bethea (33:23.937)

Yes, no, yes. I love that it is. And what you're saying, like we're in this machine and it keeps going. So in order to do something different, you have to disrupt it. And when you disrupt it, you have to be prepared for one, inertia that's going to happen that might even feel painful like you're what have you, re-educating or what have you. But this idea of you've got to do something different, which is going to disrupt how things have always been.

it's going to disrupt not only for you, like maybe this moment of should I or shouldn't I clear my calendar and what's happening versus of course I should, I'm sick. And even the idea of you work for yourself so you're a little bit freer, I think of this, or I hope so, which is like, what are people going to think? So all of these things that happen that we have to be prepared that it's not easy, it's not a slam dunk, we have to retrain ourselves and we have to be prepared for the inertia that might come up around.

But thinking about the long game of what's the life that you want to live? And are you on the way to living that life? And is it a fulfilling life? And is this your agenda in the world that you're creating for yourself, or is it one that you've inherited? Right? And that may not be so great for you.

angela_r_howard (34:43.291)

Yeah. I could talk to you all day. I feel like there's so many things to unpack here. But before we head out, tell us a little bit more like what the book is called, you know, where to find you, you know, any information to kind of close today's chat.

aiko_bethea (35:00.569)

Sure, so the book series is called Magnolia Murder Series and the first book in the series is called Gardener's Plot. So you can also find me at Instagram at rare, r-a-r-e underscore coach. And of course, you're very active on LinkedIn. And hopefully you're gonna be hearing more about a lot of the pre-sales for the book that we'll be doing on Indiegogo because the money will be going to a foundation to support.

Artists, the people who are the least funded, so our underrepresented artists as well as entrepreneurs. So, and it's because of this theme around liberation and sometimes you have to start somewhere and hopefully there are people who are going to invest in you so that you can live that life that's best for you where you can thrive.

angela_r_howard (35:32.05)

Yes.

angela_r_howard (35:47.826)

I go, thank you so much. I appreciate you. I appreciate the work that you're doing and just you are a gift, a gift to the world. So thank you. Thank you so much.

aiko_bethea (35:56.833)

Thank you for having me, Angela.