The Connection Between Belonging and Gossip
How are gossip and belonging connected ?
Gossip and silos (at work, or any social environment) are a symptom of lack of psychological safety and belonging…
You may be thinking - “well that feels counterintuitive. Why would someone who strives to belong engage in behavior that further isolates?”
Belonging that feels like it has to be earned because culture or society has signaled over and over again that you’re an outsider is not belonging at all. It’s a culture that lacks inclusion and equity.
Many people want to narrow right in on the person or people, when you should be focused on the source. Look. Deeper…
- Gossip brings people together. Yes, the tea 🫖 is something we all have wanted to spill or engage in at some point. Other than drama, gossip mirrors the feeling of being in an “in group.” If you are an outsider or treated like one within the environment/culture you operate, the feeling of being “inside the circle” can feel overwhelming positive - at least in the moment. If I don’t feel heard, loathe my job, and my leader, for example - this might feel like the only tolerable outlet.
- Gossip is a toxic form of empathy. We love to relate to each other: even when it can potentially be harmful.
- Silos are usually created by systems and structure first- not people. If people are incentivized to operate individually or based on likeness or marginalization- that’s exactly what will happen.
I am by no stretch of the imagination saying gossip and siloing is okay. I’m suggesting that we look deeper, deeper into culture and systems that may be reinforcing or causing conditions that make these behaviors feel like the only or best option.
Interested in diving into how we can create safe spaces and avoid in-groups and out-groups? Check out these episodes of the Social Responsibility at Work podcast:
Reimagine Inclusion with Mita Mallick
